I have been sitting here for the past 45 minutes trying to think of what I could say to make you feel better. You ran out the door quickly to make it to a singles function you inadvertently forgot about. I could tell you were beating yourself up over it, questioning your abilities and value as a 1st counselor in the Bishopric, wondering why you can't get it together to do more than you already do. I didn't remind you about it because I forgot it was happening. You didn't remember because you were functioning on maybe 4.5 hours of sleep some of which occurred on the floor in your boys' bedroom because John woke up at 1 am terrified turning the lights on in his room waking up Grant. That, after you spent your entire Saturday helping my cousin move, painting our office walls and taking me out to Karaoke with my cousin until 11:30pm. And then there were all those Sunday prep things like showering, ironing shirts and getting your things together for early morning meetings. Sadly, we were still awake when John woke up. But you wouldn't let me stay in there. You insisted I go to bed, even though I insisted that you had to get up earlier than me. But that's the kind of man you are.
And then you were up early to go to your meetings. You conducted and did tithing. You let me get to hear a few minutes of gospel doctrine and say the prayer in Relief Society by staying with Grant in nursery even though he was having a meltdown at my departure. You took John after church as you did tithing and then spent much of your evening wrangling our crazy, whining boys so I could enjoy one last dinner with my cousin. Then you helped put the boys to bed, fixed the bookshelf and who knows what else before it dawned on you that you were very late to this singles function. You felt you had let our Bishop down. You felt like you had failed. But I am here to gently remind you that is not the case.
If you think back to the last 48 hours, you will see that most of that was in serving others. In fact, most of what you do on a daily basis is for the benefit of others, mostly for me and the boys but a lot for the ward. I know you don't think you do enough. There is always more that can be done, but I appreciate how much you do for me and our family. I feel like I don't do enough, but you are always reminding me how much I do. So now I am reminding you of how much you do. When do you really do anything for yourself? Rarely. I should change that.
Cameron, I love you. You are a wonderful man. We all make mistakes. Lord knows how many I make on a daily basis. I am fortunate that you and our boys are so forgiving. Otherwise, I might not be able to wake up each day and try again. You take care of me like no one else could, even when I am being stubborn and careless. You take time to teach our boys in a way only you can. And they love you for it. I love you for it.
We want so badly to be that person we know Heavenly Father sees in us and that we see ourselves being. And I believe everyday through good and bad, mistakes and successes, we are a little bit closer. I don't think Heavenly Father is at all disappointed in the man you are and the efforts you make each day to serve him and his sons and daughters all over this town. You have a heart of gold. You see people as they should be seen. Love them. Accept them. Never judge them. You just do it because your heart is pure. I admire that about you. Heavenly Father loves that about you. He trusts you. He believes in you. So when there are days like today when you don't feel like you have done your part or made mistakes or let people down, please remember that Heavenly Father loves you, loves how you serve and accepts your offering however meager you may think it is.
Thank you for serving. Thank you for sacrificing. Thank you for loving. In the eternal picture, those are the things that matter most. I love you.
